10 COMMANDMENTS OF BEING A KID (THAT MAKE PARENTS SCREAM)



A priceless list of the 10 Commandments of Being a Kid (via CafeMom)

Thou Shalt Always Interrupt Mom on the Phone - If mommy is on the phone, drop whatever you are doing, race over to her, and loudly interrupt her with the least important thing you can possibly think of.

Thou Shalt Not Pee - Even if your bladder feels like it's about to burst, hold it in. Keep telling mommy that you don't have to go. Once you're in the car and on the highway, then and only then can you admit you have to go.

Thou Shalt Fight Off Germs ... Until Thy Parents Go Out - If you're going to get sick, be sure to time it perfectly. Wait until your parents are about to go out for the evening and then start coughing or running a fever.

Honor Thy Box, Not Thy Toy - There's plenty of time to play with toys. You're a kid. But to really have fun, start playing with the box that the toy came in.

Thou Shalt Not Keep Secrets - When you hear your parents say, "Do not tell so-and-so but...", that's your cue to take notes and be sure to tell everyone what your parents were saying about them. And for bonus points, do it at a big family gathering.

Thou Shalt Eat off the Floor - Food is good. Food is extra good after it's been thrown on the floor, picked up, and then eaten.

Thou Shalt Embrace Change - A free mind is a wonderful thing. So change it often. Loved mom's lasagna last week? Be sure to hate it this week. Have a blast playing miniature golf? Next time you visit Putt Putt Palace, be sure to have a complete meltdown.

Thou Shalt Dig for Gold Like There Is No Tomorrow - You have a nose for a reason. So anytime you have a free moment, shove that finger up there and see what you can find. The best time for spelunking is during school pictures.

Thou Shalt Fill Thine Belly With Sweets - When you're eating dinner, be sure to leave a lot of room for dessert. The best way is to eat less than half of what's on your plate, then grab your stomach and say you're full. Follow that up immediately by asking, "Can I have dessert now?"

Thou Shalt Not Waste Thy Weekend - With no school on Saturday and Sunday, weekends were totally made for kids. So don't miss a precious second. Get up as super early as you can and enjoy the day. Be as loud as you can too to let everyone know how much you love weekends! As for sleep, don't worry, you'll catch up during the week.

Sorry for Judging You




Great letter to all moms on the stir from a new mom. She is openly apologizing for judging other moms before she had a kid of her own. Here's what she's apologizing for:

  • Not always letting you and your strollers past me when I was in a rush
  • I didn't realize that once I got home, I could take a nap, where you definitely weren't going to take a nap
  • I didn't realize the remainder of your day was much busier than mine
  • I'm also sorry for wondering why you always, well, looked a little disheveled.
  • I'm sorry for wondering why your house was such a mess
  • I'm sorry for looking puzzled when you stood on the subway staring at pictures of your kids on your phone ('didn't you just see your kids?' I thought).
  • Finally, I'm sorry for wondering why you were so sensitive when people commented or questioned your parenting. "Who cares?" I thought. "They're your kids. Whatever."

She hopes you accept her apology...she had no idea. Read the entire letter here

Happy 121212




According to David's Bridal, 75-hundred couples will get married today simply so the man will never forget his anniversary. Well, that's a side benefit. The real reason, of course, is today's date, 12.12.12,  a once-in-a-century wedding date.

The day is also good luck from a numerology standpoint. "The date reduces to an 11 number (12+12+2012)," according to an expert. That translates into a high level of spiritual awareness. "It also brings sensitivity and romance into the marriage." The only danger is one or both parties taking things too personally.

The one drawback is the day of the week. Wednesday isn't the most exciting day of the week to walk down the aisle.


Surviving the Holidays




Congrats to Urban Outfitters... for looking like a bunch of tools. Their Holiday Catalog is filled with profanities to appeal to a younger consumer. Parents are calling for a boycott of the store, and their Facebook page is being slammed by protesters.

Of course, the outrage could be exactly what they're looking for, and many 20-somethings don't mind the profanity. "Not all forms of the (F-word) are bad," according to a writer at Teen-Ink. ( Fine. Swear it up. Cuss all you want. Have fun in the unemployment line. Am I being an old fuddy duddy?). Take a look at the catalog here



CelebBuzz



Jessica Simpson is escorted by the Beverly Hills police to her home due to the swarm of cars of photographers chasing her.


I have arrived...


Lady GaGa is seen arriving at Vnukovo Airport in Moscow, Russia




"Go buy my new album." That's Bruno Mars heading into the today show. His latest album hit shelves yesterday... if you still actually buy your albums off shelves, that is.


Flight gets canceled? Gotta dance!


Justin Bieber's dancers were scheduled on a flight from Atlanta to DC, but the flight was canceled. So naturally, they danced! Watch here


Really?
Who is this decorating the tree in his little red undies? Find out here




Birthdays...

Jennifer Connelly turns 42; "Blossom's" Mayim Bialik is 37; and Dionne Warwick turns 72.

Bob Barker turns 89 today... is he missed on that show, or what? Do you remember his famous sign off? Can you repeat it word for word?

Bob's final show, and final seconds...


ABC: All new tonight including The Middle, The Neighbors, Modern Family, and Barbara Walters Presents the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2012

CBS: All new tonight kicking it off with Survivor: Philippines, Criminal Minds, and then CSI

NBC: Whitney is new followed by a Guys With Kids rerun, and then new episodes of Take It All and Chicago Fire

FOX: The X Factor is Live

CW: Arrow is new followed by the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

A man visiting a doctor says; Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment.

The doctor replied; but you are not one of my patients. The man said: I know. But my uncle Bill was, and I am his heir.